Today...

Was a little bit of everything. Interesting to say the least... I'm reconsidering the idea of time being linear and going with the idea of concentric circles...Haven't given it much thought but the concept seems appealing. Thinking that time is linear at least on an individual basis does not leave enough breathing room for regression. I think I could work regression into concentric circles a little easier...I would be a little more comfortable with the idea of time being represented as linear if the line were vertical and had multiple layers...

Praying for Death

May it be swift. May darkness cloak the entire city on the day of my passing. The rolling clouds will mark my return to world much more suited for me. The mark of pure passion, idea's, perfect reasoning. Even in fire and brimstone the beautiful logic of hell, systematic torture. The pleasure of knowing far exceeds the pains of the flesh. Flesh is temptation, flesh is unbearable, flesh will rot. I am not of this body. I am of a soul. This body is a vessel for the realization of something larger than myself. Much larger than my peers. Not all bodies have souls, just like not all minds have purpose & ability does not mean opportunity. A hammer can be a paper weight. I pray that the hammer in your hand will be heavy. One blow will begin the loss of a life i never asked for. A soul more deserving. An imperfect vessel striving for reason.




















(hahaha)

SAN MARTIN

BEST FRIENDS

Sex is one of the few reasons why people pay any sort of attention to each other. Especially when it comes to people of different genders. I have seen the most ridiculous mixes of couples that never make it past a week, and its all because of this strong bond that is created by sex. Of course having the same hairy moron sweating and moaning like a beached whale on top of you, or having barbie screech like a weasel in a blender reaching for the ceiling fan will get old but people never seem to learn the lesson. I think one of the things that keeps me from having sex with people is the fact that by having sex I'm running the chance of getting this person pregnant and having to be in contact with this fucking idiot for the rest of my life. I wish people would think things through a little more...maybe i'd get less calls from female friends bawling about how they might be pregnant. That's always a wonderful thought too- at the news of your conception your mother wished it never happened and essentially freaked the fuck out. Your existence and relationship to this woman had to be justified after the fact. Isn't that heart warming? Charming? It really is...great story to. It's kinda like the relationships that you will construct in your adult life work partners then friends, lovers then friends, that weird guy that always has drugs then friends. Alot of these relationships can be justified not on the basis of a true connection, but exactly on just justifications. Because one person stands to gain something. The faults of the other person are reasoned out-creating a shallow, relationship that is wrapped up more in formalities, and awkward interactions/ expectations. It's filler...if your life is so boring, and sex is the one thing that keeps you going- the attention you receive from someone else that just wants your body for pleasure, or your presence because essentially there life is as lonely as yours then you have to change something in your life. Most people go outwards with the idea, I've chosen to go in. People can be swallowed up by their own short comings if they search for answers outside of themselves, and through other people. A little fucking confidence in yourself can go a long way. Confidence is not a tool to help you meet people- for me anyway, it's more like the ability to be able to stand back, say no and look at yourself and always have a critique. If our ideas can never be purely expressed then there is always a critique of ourselves to be made.

CONDIMENTS

Can our personalities, culture, and the sum of our life experiences be associated with objects? Or more specifically condiments? Do stereotypes help us understand ourselves and others better? Delving into the contradictions of stereotypes when put to there real life counterparts and comparing experiences as if we were against each other might help us understand ourselves a little better. By approaching people based on their identification or relationship to symbols or condiments it might help us gauge immediate interactions but it might put up walls that can be very hard to break down. These were the questions proposed by the guru Justin Alves-Daily. He concieved HOLY GUACAMOLE. A look into the lives of Urban condiments which all have small problems which collectively make there lives interesting and meaningful. Meaning through conflict...Ketchup and Mustard, and strange cosmic connection to guacamole who is the absent all encompassing eye. There connection to him is unfathomable, and how he is relevant is a mystery.

i wonder...

if were just running out the clock...and all were trying to do is collect moments of ecstasy into a little jar like fireflys. Knowing that in a few days they will all be dead, and the only thing we can use to remember them by is the exoskeletons of the dead bugs in that little jar that we never bother to clean out.

you know you're the one

I LOVEEEE YOUUUUUUUU

hungover and covered in dog fur

I'm trying to figure out whether our ideas are a part of the material condition. For lack of venues to express or share ideas outside of text and thought does simply thinking something somehow connect it to the material reality? And what reality is that? Is material reality subject to change through individuals understanding of the material world around us? Are the expression of our ideas directly linked to our limited social connections and access to capital? That seems too cut and dry for me. Even in the form of text, different educations, minor life experiences can help undermined the pure expression of ideas. There are limits to expressing our ideas outside of ourselves. Limits through the different mediums-cultural limits. Whether its someone who cant write trying to express themselves through the pen- or an engineer limited by what his workforce is willing to do there cannot be a pure expression of our ideas. And if the pure expression of idea cannot be realized then to say that ideas are a part of the material condition seemed skewed. The idea of everything around us seems a little off...for me it defiantly feels like it is...